“Yea, but he was all wrong. Nothing I wanted was in him, other than little insignificant things that do nothing to build a stable partnership in sharing space in each other’s lives. Blah, this sounds like sappy garbage and I can’t believe I’m thinking it. He made me smile, feel comfortable, entertained, and I felt like I wasn’t counting the seconds of awkward silence like I do with others. I wanted to make contact, but wouldn’t let myself devour him sexually like I do with others. I was sitting there contemplating how his hands must feel like, and if he smells nice or is warm while cuddling….. Shit, I liked him.
I need to go do something masculine.
And, jesus christ I only just met him in person that day.
Let’s move on from this personal embarrassment of mine,”—I’m so fucking lame for even saying this. No, thinking this.